July 24
A Soldier’s
Struggle
"All of you must obey those who rule over you. There are no authorities except the ones God has chosen. He has established the authorities that exist."
Romans 13:1 (NIrV)
Aiden sat alone in the barracks, his Bible open on his lap, but the words blurred under the weight of his thoughts. His hands were still stained with gun oil from cleaning his rifle—a weapon designed to take life. He had signed up to serve his country, to protect the innocent, but the deeper he got into this war, the more his faith gnawed at him. Thou shalt not kill. The commandment echoed in his head like a warning he couldn’t ignore.
His unit had been deployed for weeks, the desert sun beating down on them as they patrolled dangerous roads. He had trained for this, but nothing prepared him for the reality of war. The orders were clear: protect your squad, neutralize threats. But where did that leave him as a Christian? Does God want me to obey my commanding officer or His law?
One night, while on patrol, the question became more than theoretical. The convoy came under fire. Bullets tore through the air, kicking up dust and shattering windshields. Aiden dove for cover, heart pounding. Shouts filled his radio—"Contact left! Return fire!"
He gripped his rifle, scanning the darkness. Then he saw him—a shadowy figure aiming a rifle at his squadmate. Aiden had a split second to decide. His body acted before his mind caught up. He fired. The figure crumpled to the ground.
Silence followed. The attack was over. But inside, Aiden felt no victory—only a sickening weight in his chest. He had killed a man.
Back at base, he sat on his cot, staring at his hands. Were they stained with blood? Had he broken God’s commandment? Guilt pressed in, suffocating him.
He closed his eyes and whispered, "God, I don’t know what to do. I followed orders. I protected my team. But did I sin against You?"
A memory surfaced—a sermon from his childhood, the pastor quoting Romans 13. "God establishes authority. Soldiers do not bear the sword in vain." Aiden exhaled. He didn’t kill out of hate or malice. He wasn’t a murderer. He was a soldier in a broken world, doing what he had to do to protect others.
The weight didn’t fully lift, but peace crept in. He would carry this burden, but he wouldn’t carry it alone. God was with him, even in the darkest of places.
Prayer:
Lord, I wrestle with the weight of my actions, torn between duty and faith.
Help me to understand Your will in the complexities of this world.
Give me wisdom to follow You while honoring the authorities You have placed over me.
Bring peace to my heart and guide me in righteousness.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
